yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
