I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize