How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
