Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
