flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize