I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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