You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.