To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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