HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml