yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
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I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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