Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
