How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
