so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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