What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
