real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
they need to just BURY HIM!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
