i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
