I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize