I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
