I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
