After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
