Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
