John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
