You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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