A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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