you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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