We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
