Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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