I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize