My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
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