just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
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Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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