At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
