one word: firstdatebathroomanal
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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