She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
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Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
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I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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