I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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