Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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