the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
