I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You ruined the universe
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize