I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
