Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have aggressive nipples.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
