Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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