Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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