Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think your dad took our porno
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
