You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
