this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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