I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
