I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
