There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She said her name was "party"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she told me i tasted like america
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
