Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
