i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
