So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
