Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
