Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
