Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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