so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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