And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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