this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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