well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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