the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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