Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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