I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
