my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
