it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
