I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
